Transitioning My Back Massager Into A Vibrator…

Share

I’ve been plagued with back problems my whole life. I got diagnosed with scoliosis at 14 when I struggled doing backbends and anything arabesque in my ballet classes. It was like watching an ironing board doing front handsprings in a gymnastics class. My back just wouldn’t bend. In order to balance out my back deficit I over compensated by being extremely flexible in my hamstrings. I could do the splits all three ways and I even measured my straddle split out at 185 degrees. Take that! But my flexibility only added to my back problems because my lower back and hips were so loose, I was in constant lower back and hip pain even in my teens.

Continue reading

Four Years of Grieving My Dead BFF Anne Hurley

Share

Our kayaking trip to Thailand 2006

This Monday February 13th marks the four year death anniversary of my BFF Anne Hurley. Losing someone you love so much is the strangest and longest journey I’ve ever been on. I’ve discovered that the path is long and even though it continues to narrow each year, it never ends. I remember the dreaded phone call like yesterday, “Are you sitting down?” My friend Craig said. I remember the disbelief, the tears streaming, my heart sinking. I never thought I would survive this. It was different from my dad’s murder conviction. That time was also a loss until after my dad’s sentencing he would still call us collect a few times a week. He’d complain about the family not getting him better attorneys. After that, I didn’t miss him so much. Anne’s loss, however, was a complete devastation. Continue reading

I Got A Book Deal!

Share

I’m super excited to announce that I will be writing a non-fiction book of inappropriate short stories for Lit Riot Press! I’ll be focusing on the following:

  • Dad/strip clubs/murder/prison
  • Star Wars and allegedly stalking Carrie Fisher
  • Work/men/random hookups
  • Pets and my dead best friend

May the force be with us all!

Here is my author bio:

Laurel Woods: Lit Riot Press Author

And this gif because

via GIPHY

My Dead Best Friend’s Deodorant

Share

IMG_0095.JPG

My best friend Anne died suddenly from a brain aneurysm almost two years ago. It was devastating and still is. To lose that one person that really gets you. We used to say we were each others’ life partners. She had a husband but if we were both gay, we would totally be together. I was never close with her husband until after she died. At the hospital when she was on life support, he was nothing but kind and gracious with me. I was her last roommate before she moved in with him, so in a sense I felt like the other woman at the hospital with his family.

Continue reading

The Year In Woods – 2013

Share

Happy New Year good friends near and far! Reflecting on this past year has been quite difficult, actually I’d say the second hardest year of my life next to Dad’s murder arrest. I have shed more tears and felt such loss, but as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So here I am to prove it. But I have to ask, who the fuck are these THEY people?

momchemo

January I hit the ground running as Mom’s breast cancer was a bit more serious than originally expected. At first her treatment post-surgery was radiation. I like to call this “cancer-lite.” But then her doctor prescribed 4 rounds of chemo and that’s when it got real. City of Hope is the best hospital ever and she got rockstar treatment. Now cancer-free 6 months, cheers to that! Continue reading