How do 50 years fly by so quickly? I’ll be 50 in one month on September 9th. As I approach my sixth decade I remember so easily my childhood as if it was yesterday. I feel the same until I look both in the mirror now and at pictures of me in high school when I thought I looked so grown up.
I’ve been plagued with back problems my whole life. I got diagnosed with scoliosis at 14 when I struggled doing backbends and anything arabesque in my ballet classes. It was like watching an ironing board doing front handsprings in a gymnastics class. My back just wouldn’t bend. In order to balance out my back deficit I over compensated by being extremely flexible in my hamstrings. I could do the splits all three ways and I even measured my straddle split out at 185 degrees. Take that! But my flexibility only added to my back problems because my lower back and hips were so loose, I was in constant lower back and hip pain even in my teens.
This Monday February 13th marks the four year death anniversary of my BFF Anne Hurley. Losing someone you love so much is the strangest and longest journey I’ve ever been on. I’ve discovered that the path is long and even though it continues to narrow each year, it never ends. I remember the dreaded phone call like yesterday, “Are you sitting down?” My friend Craig said. I remember the disbelief, the tears streaming, my heart sinking. I never thought I would survive this. It was different from my dad’s murder conviction. That time was also a loss until after my dad’s sentencing he would still call us collect a few times a week. He’d complain about the family not getting him better attorneys. After that, I didn’t miss him so much. Anne’s loss, however, was a complete devastation. Continue reading
December started off with a bang. I went to the Lucasfilm holiday party with my friend Kimberly. We had a ball, I saw old friends, met some new ones and even saw the Rogue One cast. Then I took a National Geographic cruise to Antarctica. It was a magical experience. Every time I looked out my window I saw humpback whales, killer whales, penguins, seals and enormous icebergs. I took part in the polar plunge with 96 other guests by jumping into the Southern ocean, all 30 degrees fahrenheit of it. I had to be pulled out quickly by the crew as I began to hyperventilate. So much for my future in extreme cold water diving. Continue reading
My best friend Anne died suddenly from a brain aneurysm almost two years ago. It was devastating and still is. To lose that one person that really gets you. We used to say we were each others’ life partners. She had a husband but if we were both gay, we would totally be together. I was never close with her husband until after she died. At the hospital when she was on life support, he was nothing but kind and gracious with me. I was her last roommate before she moved in with him, so in a sense I felt like the other woman at the hospital with his family.
Happy New Year good friends near and far! Reflecting on this past year has been quite difficult, actually I’d say the second hardest year of my life next to Dad’s murder arrest. I have shed more tears and felt such loss, but as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So here I am to prove it. But I have to ask, who the fuck are these THEY people?
January I hit the ground running as Mom’s breast cancer was a bit more serious than originally expected. At first her treatment post-surgery was radiation. I like to call this “cancer-lite.” But then her doctor prescribed 4 rounds of chemo and that’s when it got real. City of Hope is the best hospital ever and she got rockstar treatment. Now cancer-free 6 months, cheers to that! Continue reading
In May 1999 I took part in a volunteer mission with a non-profit organization called Airline Ambassadors. My BFF Anne was a flight attendant for American Airlines. She signed us up with three other friends, making up a total group of 26 flight attendants and friends to trek through the Himalayan region of Nepal, delivering medical and school supplies to orphanages. Being an over-preparer for trips, I went trail running twice daily to ensure that I was in the best shape possible. I also bought extensive camping supplies, including iodine tablets for water, to prevent any type of water-born illnesses.
I’d be damned if I was going to get sick on this trek. Anne and I put the iodine tablets in our Nalgene bottles daily, making sure to only use that special water to drink and brush our teeth with. The porters even assured us that all the water they cooked with was boiled for purification, guaranteeing us further safety. But what we did notice, was that the porters washed our dishes in stream water, which was not filtered. Continue reading
Wrote this story in 2010, and now that my BFF has passed away, the truth can come out…
A long long time ago…well actually a little over three years ago, I’m minding my own business at home, folding my newly laundered Star Wars sheets when my cell phone rings. It’s my BFF! (Can be seen in above photo on the left…)
“Hey how’s it going?” I ask. I always pick up when it’s her. Let’s just call her Ham (Her initials mixed up) so I don’t accidentally implicate her in this story.
Oh you’ll see. Continue reading
Last Wednesday February thirteenth, my very best friend in the world, my BFF, my Anne, suffered an aneurysm and died. She left behind a loving husband, a precious three year old son, an incredibly loving family of Hurleys, and a slew of amazing friends from around the globe. I’ve known Anne for thirty years since we were classmates at Westlake High School. We used to say we were hetero life partners and even had to convince our neighbors when we lived together that we weren’t gay. We loved each other that much. She was beautiful, she was a ham. She stole Carrie Fisher’s pillow case on a flight and gave it to me for my birthday.
We hiked Half Dome in Yosemite on our birthdays one September. We stayed up a bit late the night before polishing off some serious wine, and celebrated afterwards with more wine, and pizza.