Transitioning My Back Massager Into A Vibrator…

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I’ve been plagued with back problems my whole life. I got diagnosed with scoliosis at 14 when I struggled doing backbends and anything arabesque in my ballet classes. It was like watching an ironing board doing front handsprings in a gymnastics class. My back just wouldn’t bend. In order to balance out my back deficit I over compensated by being extremely flexible in my hamstrings. I could do the splits all three ways and I even measured my straddle split out at 185 degrees. Take that! But my flexibility only added to my back problems because my lower back and hips were so loose, I was in constant lower back and hip pain even in my teens.

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I Traveled Across the Globe to Antarctica and Carrie Fisher Died

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December started off with a bang. I went to the Lucasfilm holiday party with my friend Kimberly. We had a ball, I saw old friends, met some new ones and even saw the Rogue One cast. Then I took a National Geographic cruise to Antarctica. It was a magical experience. Every time I looked out my window I saw humpback whales, killer whales, penguins, seals and enormous icebergs. I took part in the polar plunge with 96 other guests by jumping into the Southern ocean, all 30 degrees fahrenheit of it. I had to be pulled out quickly by the crew as I began to hyperventilate. So much for my future in extreme cold water diving. Continue reading

The Star Wars Convention Keeps Pulling Me Back In!

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I have been a galactic Star Wars fan since my dad dragged me to see the original film in Ventura a (somewhat) long long time ago. I remember going into that theatre being very scared and coming out being changed forever. I worked at Lucasfilm for seven years and was even a visual effects artist for a bit. Most of my friends think I’m crazy to still be such a die-hard fan but going to the Star Wars Convention continues to awaken the Force within me. Get teary-eyed I do when I hear the Star Wars theme song. I couldn’t wait to be among my people; it’s the only place I feel safe talking about my Star Wars bed sheets as a grown woman with no kids. So let’s grab some Wookie cookies and do this! Continue reading

MTV Geek – Star Wars Celebration V Coverage!

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Last August, the Force traveled with me, first class (THANK YOU DELTA AIRLINES) to Orlando, Florida to cover Star Wars Celebration V for MTV.com.  The locals renamed the city “Lando” in honor of the Star Wars Celebration.  Here is a link to the MTV Geek footage:  http://www.mtv.com/geek/event_coverage/star_wars_celebration_v/main.jhtml.

The weather in Orlando “has the same atmosphere as the Dagobah System” as Jon Stewart said, as sweat poured out from body parts I didn’t even know existed.  I had a grand time mingling with like-minded Jedis, doing floor interviews as well as some celebrity interviews including Warwick Davis (so nice!), Matt Lanter (so cute!) and Dave Filoni (so charismatic!).  I decided to give up my spot at the Star Wars speed dating event, for fear of being gang-raped.
I had mixed emotions about attending the conference, having worked at Lucasfilm for seven years, being entrenched in the Force.  I wondered if I’d be one of those disgruntled ex-employees constantly pondering what George does with all that money.  Instead, I had that first day of school feeling, as I entered the Orange County Convention Center with my mom, sister, MTV mic in hand and thousands of fans, waiting in line to be engulfed by the Star Wars Universe!

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Carrie Fisher – I think I’m Quitting You!

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I think my girl crush on Carrie Fisher has sadly come to an end.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s been quite a ride.  Seeing her somewhere between one and ten times in Wishful Drinking on Broadway was definitely the highlight of last winter in NYC.  Each time I walked out of the theatre my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard.  And she has definitely been inspirational in getting my writing off the ground.  How she is able to turn a tragedy into a comedy is truly a gift.  And one day Carrie I will actually think my dad’s murder conviction is hilarious.

I do like to think that we have some similarities which are some but not limited to:

She’s from Los Angeles, I’m from Los Angeles
She owned a parrot, I owned a parrot (RIP Huey del Fuego)
She worked for George Lucas, I worked for George Lucas
She can tap dance, I can tap dance
She’s a writer, I’m (now) a writer!

Carrie Fisher

Carrie definitely recognized me when I became a regular at her show, and to this I have to say, “I swear, it’s not my fault I met someone at the theatre that could get me front row seats!”  But I also bank on the fact that she gets ECT’s (electro-convulsive therapy) which wipes the mind of your short-term memory.  So Carrie, I have this to say to you, if you keep recognizing me I call bullshit on those ECT’s!  Come on!

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Guess Who’s Going to Star Wars Celebration?

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Chewbacca aka The Wookie and Peter Mayhew

Woodsy and the Wookie!

Hey look it’s me and Chewbacca at last year’s NYC Comicon!  And check out my Revenge of the Jedi t-shirt!  I so nailed that…

So yeah, I recently sent my mom an email with a link to this year’s Star Wars Celebration, http://www.starwarscelebration.com/, saying that we should go together, AS A JOKE, I swear!  But then she got all excited about it, so how could I then say NO?  I know you all understand…

Anyway, so yeah, I’m going to the Star Wars Celebration Convention in August with Diane in Orlando, Florida.  We’re all booked, and ready to go.  It’s truly a mystery as to why I’m still single…

I don’t think I’ll be dressing up, mostly because of the fact that if I happen to run into any of my old LucasFilm co-workers, I might die.  I mean it’s one thing to dress up Star Wars at the ILM Halloween party but this is taking it to the next level.  I mean, I may wear a golden bikini top or something just as a special call out to Princess Leia.  I was Slave Leia last Halloween but I had to quit boozing for an entire month.  Maybe I’ll go as Slave Yoda, because really, who else will?  And all that green make-up will bring out my green eyes.  I am hoping though to interview some of my dear old LFL co-workers that will be there for my blog – keep fingers crossed.

Oh and speaking of, guess who’ll be there signing autographs?  That’s right people, the one and only CARRIE FISHER, http://www.starwars.com/fans/events/celebration_v_carrie_fisher/index.html.  Of course I’ll have to lay low because of my over-exposure during her NYC Wishful Drinking tour.  She definitely recognizes me now, if only she’d call me Laurel and not Anne, please God, please.

At least I’ll always have the Wookie…

Wookie and Princess Leia

Jimmy McCain, www.thunder-lips.com, is the guy behind the gifs.

Rockin’ Rebel Assault II For LucasArts!!

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So back in the day when I worked at LucasArts, they asked me to be the model for the game Rebel Assault II, because they didn’t want to pay the game actress for the shoot. I almost fainted. I went to Skywalker Ranch, which I had been to many times. But this time I was able to check out the archive building, where all the props, costumes, etc. were kept from George Lucas’ little film projects. My eyes popped open as I walked between rows and rows of costumes from Indiana Jones, Radioland Murders, Howard The Duck, Star Wars, Empire and Jedi. I touched the white dress that Karen Allen wore in Raiders, when she drank Belloq under the table and pulled a knife on him. Man was she tiny because I wouldn’t be able to get one ass cheek in that thing.

They suited me up in the same camouflage outfit that Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill wore on the moon of Endor in Return of the Jedi. I wasn’t sure if it was the exact one, so I just imagined it was. Actually now that I think about it Carrie is tiny too so her pants would have been board shorts on me. After I was suited up, they put me on the speeder bike and I had to pretend I was being chased by stormtroopers. This couldn’t get any better!

Here’s a photo from the shoot:

Here is the final box cover:

And here’s a little something my designer Jimmy did for fun: